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All Play And No Work
"Booooooring I spend my damn time and risk arrest to sit in this empty ship for 30 minutes WELL THATS IT I AIN'T WASTING MY TIME" exclaimed a audience member who sat in the dark, quiet Traveling Tim, the ship owned by the Puppet Pirates. The mans thoughts were shared by the many other attenders of the show. Suddenly many people began to rise from the seats and began to leave the aquatic circus tent. Suddenly the lights all illuminated the tent and were quickly turned off all except one pointing on a unbelievably tall and large man. "SIT DOWN!!!", a thunderous voiced roared, filling the whole area. "Please, you do NOT want to miss the show..." Now it spoke in a rather soft, womanly tone. The figure had appeared under the spotlight on the stage, and on the entrance, and on the left side, and in between the seats...everywhere the same, large figure had appeared, suggesting to the now surprised guests to sit down. "I am the great, the magnificent and mysterious illusionist, Loki Cicero!", all the "clones" of Cicero vanished into thin air, leaving the one at the entrance of the ship's tent. "Me and my other "friends" will make sure to make tonight the most unforgetable of your lives!!", now the large figure spoke in his deep, resounding male voice. As it walked down the main corridor, his large, black wings flapped, elevating the large man into the air. He flew around the audience, performing simple yet impressive tricks, until he finally landed on the main stage. "Well, my magnificent audience, I'm all warmed up. Are you ready for my main performances!!?" The crowd roared in unison. "EXCELLENT. Now, for my first trick, I'll need one volunteer!!" A woman stood up and walked to the stage. Cicero showed her the way, as he told her to get inside a coffin, where he'd perform the trick of cutting her in half and reattaching her. From the back of the curtains, another large figure stood watch at Cicero's performance. He was juggling some random items nonstop. "Oh no... here he goes!!! Cleaning crew, get ready. There's gonna be a lot of blood..." "AH SHIT" said a dark figure from behind the curtains "I didn't expect him to open with that trick" he said as he approach a large wall covered in tons of buttons and controls. He held down a control and spoke into the mic connected to the machine "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN please introduce to the stage the magnificent, the incredible, the immortal showmen, SKAR C. ROOOOOOOOOOW!" as soon as he finished his speech he belted out out to the stage. A spot light shined on a tall inhuman figure with red rosy cheeks and a large grin on his face he waved gently to the crowd. "I bet you guys were scared as hell when the lights came on, but I guess you people being on the ship of a bunch of criminals mean you came here knowing that this place could be pillaged by marines at any moment. I mean look at her she probably has a kill streak a mile long" Row said pointing a cane he had brought with him towards a small child looking the age of five his humor pleased the audience everyone giving out a chuckle. The puppet man quickly walked over to Cicero and began to whisper in his ear "now what did I tell you about tonight we. are. doing. a. PG. show got it I'll give you the single when it's time" "I'm sorry for interrupting my friends show here you see I didn't realize he was on. I haven't heard anything too well for awhile it's like there is something in my ear" Row began to tug upon his ear and hit the side of his head like he was flushing out anything inside. "Hmm can't get it...YOU THERE yes you assist me" Row began to stride towards a audience member in the first row while leaning forward displaying his ear. The man saw something very small contained in his ear "now don't be shy just give it a big tug". The man with hesitation grabbed the small item and with one tug removed a large line of cloth tied neatly together each separate vibrant colors. With each pull the line got larger and larger until it was surly impossible to fit such a large object within any part of the body. "HEY, be careful I think you pulled my 7th birthday out with that last one" Row quickly gripped the line and removed the rest from his ear canal. "I am exhausted you mind?" before the audience even had a chance to answer Row began to consume the entire piece of cloth and with one large gulp it was gone. "Oh that hits the...wait that wasn't SILK WAS IT? MY ALLERGIES" Row began to reel back while letting out three large breathes and suddenly he let out a large sneeze into his hands. From his hands arose three lovely doves flying into the air from his actions the crowd erupted into excitement "alright much like those birds when I catch them toginght I am stuffed...now WHO'S READY FOR A SHOW". "Let us see the end to my friends amazing trick" Row began to walk back behind the stage but not before whispering to his partner "remember that's a magic box not a coffin". "Fine", Cicero responded to Row. "Give another round of applause to the "SHOWMAN", Cicero exclaimed, as he continued with his trick. "Now, I will do something unheard of. I will perform three tricks at the same time!" Cicero, once again, was doing stuff out of script, things he hadn't rehearsed. "Now, I need three more volunteers. Each one will be tied in these traps! And I, the great Cicero, will need to free each one in fifteen seconds each, if not, in sixty-seconds, all four volunteers WILL DIE!" Excited, three volunteers walked over to the stage, each one strapping themselves in four different, dangerous scenarios. Just when Cicero, pressed the timer button, "huh? what's this? I'm picking up a radio signal...ROW! We are being targeted by the Marines, for some reason!" He exclaimed, completely forgeting about his performance. "The marines? AH YES everything is going perfectly as planned. Now we have a major problem here we need this place cleared out in about 5 mins. I MUST APOLOGIZE EVERYONE BUT THE SHOW IS OVER THERE WILL BE NO REFUNDS first cause this is free and second cause...well you won't need it" Row slowly grasped an object sowed directly into his chest "and now for this next trick I will make this man disappear" Row ripped the object from his body a flintlock pistol and began shooting wildly into the crowd perfectly striking three men in the audience. "ALRIGHT BOYS THE FIRST RULE IS THERE ARE NO RULE WE NEED THIS PLACE CLEARED OUT IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES...our guest of dishonor is about to arrive. To live a life of infinite pleasure is what I wish for you all so please go wild" "WOOOHHOHOHOHO!!!", Cicero began laughing in a very sinister tone, it reverberated throught the whole area, even with the loudness of the commotion. He pointed at the frightened crowd, as he sent a sort of wave from the tip of his head. The citizens began to have their vision blurred, and the wave was accompannied by a rather terrible, high pitched noise. Of course, none of the performers of the Puppet Pirates were being affected by his ability. They were helpless, completely at the mercy of these pirates. "Okay, now, once the Marines get closer, I'll hack into their frequency, and it'll be the turning point of our performance!" Row's arm quickly wiped out wrapping Cicero in thin but powerful strings and then pulling him in very close "don't do that you dumbass do that and this ship gets sunk faster than devil fruit user at a pool party...trust me this is all in my plan". From behind the curtains of the stage long hairs stretched out grasping several members of the audience and tossing them into the water. "Boogie sick em" from behind the curtains a loud whistling could be heard quickly followed by a variety of large animals including lions, tigers, and elephants stomping out chasing the audience out with haste. "Uuurhg...FINE! tch! You just want to show of Boogie, Captain. You always deprive me of the fun until the end...I'll go and have a few drinks, call me when it's my turn....Oh wait, I don't drink. So...is it my turn?" Cicero said while elbowing his captain as if insisting to be let in on the fun. "You know what? We can do that skit we worked on! I act like on of the scared members of the crowd, the Marines "save' me, and then I kill 'em...kill'em all!!!!....Kill 'EM ALL!" The large, strangely dressed man then quickly began to glow in excitement, as he practiced his lines while he walked back and forth, meanwhile Boggie and the animals kept terrorizing the audience. "NO. NO. NO. NO. None of you will lay a hand on those marines when they show up we will do as they say and that. Is. Final." the captain ranted as he fired random pot shots into the crowd scarring the crowd away "BOOGIE get these animals back our company doesn't enjoy feces on every surface probably cause he hates looking in the mirror KIKIKIKIKIKI". "We got one minute left before they arrive trust me you don't want these people here when they show what we do is nothing compared to what they do" the puppet man spoke as he looked at a scrapped up pocket watch "no time to scare 'em off so Cicero...show them the door kikikiki". "OOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!! So...can I kill em?" Cicero kept speaking strangely, switching between a high pitched voice, to a deep, thunderous one. "Can I kill em" seemed to be his catch phrase, at this point. He jumped away from Row's side, landing with a massive thud in the middle of the crowd, his enormous stature towering over everyone. "RADIO GAGA!" He placed his hands on his tall shaped head, and powerful radio waves emitted from it, causing everyone to drop to their knees in pain. Even the members of his crew were slightly affected, as he made use of his powers indiscriminately. He pranced around joyfully, but of course, it wasn't evident thanks to his mask. "Okay so, anyone with a baseball bat, catch this! Radio kick! Radio kick!" Cicero literally began kicking the audience from the ship, probably crushing their bones upon impact. He finally reached a cowering boy, suffering because of the waves from his power. "Oh? You hurt? Don't worry...uncle Cicero will make it ALL BETTER!!!!!!" He exclaimed as he prepared to smash the kid with his foot. While his murderous intent was powerful its incredible power was impeded by an invisible source. Suddenly with a glint of light the near microscopic strings that were surrounding the giants body holding back his power raveled themselves. Staying behind him was his captain a couple of feet away, but despite almost not moving at all he was using all his strength to make sure his second in command didn't move an inch. "...I'm sorry I know I said this crew has no rules, but this is a biggy you lay a hand on a child and...I'LL DESTROY YOU...there is no joke there is no punchline this is real you lay a single hand on that boy and I swear to god I will clip your wings faster than you can say why the hell did the chicken cross the road' ".' "This world is so full of cynical jackasses who will break down a joke and point out every damn thing that isn't funny about it, but kids they respect out craft they understand out art...AND IF YOU KILL THE GREATEST AUDIENCE OUT THERE I WILL RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB" with the sudden extending of his limbs and releasing of his co-star he wrapped the boy up along with the people who appeared to be his parents and tossed them to the ocean. "Shows over people it was nice to ''sea ''ya, too bad you can't stay we were gonna have root beer ''floats, ''it would have been a ''whale ''of a good time KIKIKIKIKI" "Now if my ears don't deceive me, who knows maybe I didn't stitch 'em on right I hear the distinct noise of a world government ship...PLACES PEOPLE" From just off the deck of the ship a incredible, large, beatiful white ship swayed through the water stoping just inches away from the ship. Everything around and in the ship was made to perfection obviously owned by someone of high status. With the rolling out of a red carpet and hundreds of armed soldiers one man was slowly escorted off a perfect pure gold stairs that prutruded from the ship just for this one man's lesiure. The man's presence would send most normal men in fear, but amongst the the crew that boarded this ship it stired up very different emotions. The royal man took a seat on a balcony crafted just for him to sit in not touched by any other for he would not have it any other way. "I hope you know I only keep you band of pitiful pieces of trash around for my entertainment...if I am not impressed by your little show I will send you band of no good waste of space to impel down without pause." the noble spoke with pure destain in his voice as he signaled his two body guards to stand next to him and keep his eyes on the captain. "Well, of course my liege to disappointing you would pain me more than any prison or wound.." Row spoke with a glass smile plastering his face, but he kept his hands behind his back to hide that he was gripping his fist so tight that if his hands were made of flesh they would be bleeding. "COME ON GET ON WITH IT INTRODUCE ME" "OF COURSE SIR, NOW IF I MAY INTRODUCE THE MAGNIFICENT, RADIANT, PERFECT, UNTOUCHABLE, AND MOST OF ALL IMMORTAL CELESTIAL DRAGON,SAINT ELLISON!!!" "The world stops and begins at your command so without further adue may I introduce to you THE PUUUUUUUUUPET PIIIIIIIIIRATES" "Okay, sorry you two...NOW INTRODUCING TO THE STAGE HUM C. OUR AND LIL BOOGIE" With a exhausted sigh two fake smiling faces entered the crowd one riding in on a unicycle and the other standing on the back of a massive lion. "GOOD AFTERNOON I hope you enjoy my voice cause my partner here lacks the instruments to do so HAEHAEHAEHAE" the large man balancing on the unicycle looked up to see the powerful man, but he was surprised to see his expression not changed in the slightest by his unicycle trick and a massive slimy lizard creature on the back of a lion. "Okay pal its time to get to work no more LION around HAEHAEHAE" both dismounted their rides and bowed before the audience. "Hey here's a good one ,what is the pirate king's favorite sport to play in the winter...HAKI" to say Our's humor was amusing to the world noble would be an understatement. Boogie seeing that his companion was bombing quickly whistled and in seconds the stage was filled with a variety of creatures from all across the sea. With another whistle the creatures began circling the area as the largest creature, the elephant stepped into the middle right next to the dynamic duo. "Audience watch closely this next trick is gonna be a TON of fun" the elephant raised its trunk high into the air as the variety of creatures began to scale the massive mammal. One by one from biggest to smallest the creatures stacked on top of the creature's trunk each balancing one on top of another. The massive size of the living tower became almost impossible yet it continued. Lion, hippo, mice, and all sorts of creatures had successfully stayed on top of one another until the final creature stood on the top a single flea. The two looked back to see if their display of incredible training for the many beast had impressed the royalty, it did not. "I think we OTTER wrap up and crocDILE it back, but before we go how about one last trick? PUNA join us won't you" the small flea at the top jumped down and landed with a thud as it morphed into a vaguely human insect form. "Now ladies and gentlemen we have spent years honing our bodies to their physical limits to bring you...THIS". The three each approached the massive beast each grasping a leg, and with an incredible heave the elephant appeared to defy gravity as the group of three managed to pick up every single creature in the stack including massive beast like lions, tigers, alligators, hippos, gazelle, deer, gorillas, and other large animals. "Okay guys on the count of three one, two, th-" before Our could finish his sentence the other two released their grip and the massive creature fell right onto the comedian's body. The elephant quickly moved away, and Our returned to his feet dazed, confused, and missing teeth but for the most part alive. Hearing about the need to impress, Dolly was determined to put on a show. In her dressing room she powdered blush onto her cheeks and applied a cherry lipstick before popping her lips and blowing a kiss in the mirror of her vanity. Immediately a wooden mannequin came to her aid, wrapping a feathered boa around her neck and carrying her out and onto stage. Joining the chaos, an army of wooden mannequins marched behind her, each in different theatrical costume, like a princess or a knight, the one carrying her specifically was dressed as a king. With no real act to put on at the moment, she only smiled and let her army do the talking, with each of them doing some sort of trick that was sure to impress. Category:Normat1 Category:Lemasters30 Category:TheOmniscientBear